who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
