Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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