so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
