Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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