Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
