Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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