he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
