we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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