I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
