What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Enjoy the penises
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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