I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
