i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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