I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
