This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
