I've blown a few things in my day
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
