By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
