my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
