ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
