Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
