Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
this boner is exhausting
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
