Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
