I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just gift wrapped bread.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This baby is an asshole
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
