some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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