4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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