You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I could fuck to npr.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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