perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
