We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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