but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
