Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
