puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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