North Korea, Best Korea!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
