just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
