I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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