hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
