oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
