do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
