So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
