if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
