I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
