At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
