I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
