he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
