why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
