Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
