I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
