Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
