Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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