How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
