Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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