nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
