Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
