There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
