I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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