FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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