Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're so nebulous sometimes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
