Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
